Surprise...Surprise...

In the summer of 1971 I was living in the East side of Detroit. Our house was small, and had no central heat or air conditioning. We slept with the windows open all summer. My father's bedroom was adjacent to the front room, where I often slept on the couch.
My father was a big fan of rummage sales. Our house was filled with an eclectic variety of items. I remember him finding an officers dress sword, allegedly from England, along with an odd looking helmet with ornate plumage. He kept the sword in his bedroom, largely to prevent my brother and myself from having impromptu sword fights, which had occurred on more than one occasion, especially if we were watching Robin Hood or some pirate movie with Errol Flynn.
On one summer evening, very late into the night, I remember my father coming out of his room, with the sheet wrapped around him like a Toga of sorts, with the sword in his hand. He motioned for me to be quiet, and pointed toward the front door. As he tip toed toward the front door, I could see the doorknob begin to move. He reached down, grabbed the doorknob with one hand. and raising the sword, opened the door. A young man still holding the knob from the outside stumbled forward toward my father, and as his eyes locked on the sword, dad punched him with his free hand knocking him off the porch and into the front yard.
The look of utter terror on the would be burglar's face caused us all to break out in uproarious laughter.
He ran off down the street, and disappeared into the darkness.
Dad said he heard him out on the porch through the screen in his bedroom window.
We all went to sleep. Laughing to ourselves, and wondering what the young man thought of his encounter with Julius Cesar. Surprise...Surprise.

I'm Clark Gable You Son Of A...

My father served during world war II in the Army Air Corps. On one occasion, his unit was denied their weekend pass much to the chagrin of everyone involved. Dad decided that enough was enough and, after lights out he waited in his bunk for the first headcount, in full uniform with the covers up tight around his neck. After the bed-check, all being present and accounted for, he snuck out of the barracks. Adjacent to his barracks, was a tennis court, presumably for officers. He climbed the tall fence, ran across the tennis court, jumped the net, just for kicks, climbed the opposite fence, came down the telephone pole which put him in the alley next to the camp.
He avoided detection,and went into town. As I recall, he had a few drinks with a lovely young girl, said his goodbyes, and proceeded in the predawn hours to make his way back through town to the alley, climbed the phone pole, went up and over the fence onto the tennis court. Once again he jumped the net, just for kicks, and scaled the fence adjacent to his barracks, where upon he heard a stern voice shouting from behind, "HALT! WHO GOES THERE"... He froze for a moment, and replied,' I'm Clark Gable You Son Of A Bitch"...And ran around the rear of his barracks, snuck back inside and got into his bunk, still in uniform, and pulled the covers up to his neck.
Moments later the doors flew open, the lights came on, and two M.P.s burst into the barracks and commanded, "NO ONE MOVE AN INCH".
No one did. And after a brief head count, all being present and accounted for, left in a huff, and all was quiet again.
Now, every time I see Clarke Gable, I can't help but chuckle to myself picturing Dad and that story.